Sunday, August 7, 2011

I am a victim of Port Moresby street crime…and come up smiling!

by Geoffrey Heard

It's Sunday morning, and I'm feeling absurdly chuffed. The reason is simple; last night I was a victim of Port Moresby's notorious street crime … but came out of it victorious. Well, almost!

In the taxi home, I couldn't take the adrenalin-fueled grin off my face or stop myself chuckling as I ran and re-ran the scenario in my head. Petty though the situation was, I felt as though I had been tested and had triumphed. Like some sort of rite of passage.

The incident occurred as a group of us left the Lamana Hotel's Gold Club after seeing the PNG's Got Talent hip-hop dance competition.
As we stepped through the door, I slipped the taxi fare home, two bills, a K10 and a K5 (a generous fare for the short trip), into my shirt pocket ready to pay the taxi without having to take my wallet out of my buttoned hip pocket. I realized too late that the end of that action could be seen through the bars of the gate. Careless.

The taxi was 30-40 meters outside the Lamana security gate (everywhere in Port Moresby has security fences and gates -- homes, restaurants, supermarkets…). As we walked towards the taxi, a man, apparently drunk, attached himself to me, talking rubbish about the show and asking us for a lift home in our taxi.

I was instantly wary and began (as is my wont) rehearsing possible scenarios and my response. He had to be preparing to pick my pocket (a hold-up was out of the question with so much security nearby, I thought) and his best bet would be to go for it as I was getting into the car; half standing, half sitting. I planned accordingly.

His chance came early though. I was set to get into the taxi with my eyes firmly on the would-be pickpocket and the taxi door between him and me, when one of our party stopped behind me and questioned the
amount of the quoted fare (most taxis don’t have meters).

Involuntarily, my eyes turned towards the speaker and in that moment the thief's hand flashed to my shirt pocket like a striking snake, skilled fingers pincered onto the money and whipped it out. I didn't feel a thing!

But I saw -- even as I glanced away from him I was realizing my mistake and my eyes flicked back just in time to see his hand moving away. Another striking snake (the night was full of them!) and I had his hand and the moneyt in my grip. I pushed him off balance with my other hand and stripped the notes from between his fingers. I had the K10 in my grasp; the K5 bill fell to the ground. I left it, hopped into the taxi and we were away.

A couple of the security guards started down the hill towards us. I waved them away -- in Port Moresby, security guards will give a petty thief a severe beating. I didn't want that, the man had offered us no violence, I had learned a life lesson, and Port Moresby is a hard place to make a living legitimately.

At home, I got a beer (SP Export white can, of course!) from the fridge and went out to sit on the back verandah to look at the lights, the night sky, and come down from the adrenalin high.

But what if he had been armed? What if …? I put the "what ifs" firmly from my mind. They didn't happen. What had happened was that in my 69th year, I had encountered my first pickpocket, and had beaten him. Not quite Olympic gold, I know, but you can only respond to the challenges you encounter.

I popped the can. Life felt good and it still does this morning.

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I have to add a rider to this -- I am by no means making light of those who have been victims of serious crime in Port Moresby, on or off the streets.
Port Moresby has a very, very serious crime problem involving murder, rape, assault, burglary, armed hold ups, and theft of all kinds, all exacerbated by corrupt police and the under-paying, under-equipping, and constant undermining of those police who are straight.

Crime victims are legion and several good friends of mine have suffered the worst kinds of crime short of murder.

By and large, though, you can be safe from all but the most extreme crime (e.g. a gang home invasion) if you take care. In this case, I had put myself in harm's way by choosing to go to Lamana and walking outside at night. I had exacerbated the situation by being careless and literally pointing out where I was carrying money.

As I said, a life lesson learned. ###

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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2011.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

What was interesting about your last visit to the doctor?

By Geoffrey Heard

Free entertainment along the road, free fresh-off-the-tree bananas? What unexpected thing happened last time you were on your way to visit your doctor?

It is a beautiful, sunny morning in Paradise 1, Vunakabi, and the first thing on the agenda today is to take 10 year old Roselyn (named for her grandmother) to the doctor to have her cut and infected foot treated. Well, to the nurse at the clinic a couple of villages away, Rapitok. That means traveling by bus along a secondary route. Could mean a fair wait for the bus.

As we wait at the roadside for an hour-and-a-half for a bus which will pick us up (a couple go past full), I have to consciously suppress the niggle of misplaced urgency.

I chuckle as I on what I would be doing right this moment if I wasn't sitting at the side of the road chatting with Roselyn the child, Roselyn the grandmother, a couple of the kids who are shooting at a tree with their slingshots (and having a go and scoring a lucky hit myself), other members of the family wandering in and out of the picture, chatting with passersby, and editing pictures and writing this on my laptop.

I would be sitting on the tank stand 20 meters away doing exactly the same thing -- but with a poor chance of spotting and stopping the appropriate bus, that's what! I'm not waiting for a bus, I'm having a morning with my family!

There are no designated bus stops outside town. There are designated routes (we're on number 4) and maximum prices, but apart from that the bus stops when hailed or when passengers indicate that they want to get out.

Finally a bus arrives with a couple of empty seats heading where we want to go. Roselyn and I climb in, satisfy the natural curiosity of the other passengers interested in why a 10 year old Tolai girl is addressing the old white guy as "Bubu Geoff" (Grandfather Geoff -- in fact, I am the child's putative Great-Grandfather), and prepare to enjoy the trip through satisfyingly scenic surrounds.

A couple of kilometers along the road, we hear the sounds of celebration. "Subuna," explains Roselyn excitedly, "they're going to do a bride price exchange."

This is something I haven't experienced. It's pretty much an all day event, I am told, where the groom's husband visits the bride's home village to complete payment of the marriage settlement and claim the bride.

She hides in her parents' house and won't come out. The visitors tempt her and try to persuade her to come out with their singsings (song and dance). Finally, they might enter the house and physically remove her.

It is all pre-arranged and scripted and regarded by everyone as jolly good fun. At least, I'm told that is so today. I'm not sure it was always thus.

As we reach the hamlet where the subuna is in progress, the beating of drums and the chanting voices rise to a happy crescendo, then we are past and it fades behind us.
After a 20 minute ride, we reach our destination only to find the clinic closed. More waiting. The sister, it seems, will come, she is very reliable, but she has to catch the bus from another village, Taulil, which is poorly served. We settle down to wait in the shade of a tree under which someone has built a small stall out of bush materials. The two or three women occupying it today are making one or two small improvements to it while selling the ubiquitous betel nut and a few food other items, including some "banana mau" (ripe bananas -- similar to the Cavendish banana common in Australia).

We chat back and forth a bit, explain the Bubu Geoff thing again, and settle down to wait. I'm working through my email (ain't mobile technology grand? it is when it works!) when one of the ladies makes me a gift of a hand of bananas. It turns out her son is a PMV driver I've travelled with a number of times who has become a friend.

Roselyn and I are enjoying a banana snack when a mini-bus arrives with the nurse. She bustles in, lines up the patients on the bend outside the clinic, and deals with them all cheerfully, caringly and with despatch. More patients arrive as we are leaving -- it's going to be a busy day.

Across the road a couple of people are waiting for the bus heading out. We join them; one is an old bloke and having ascertained that I am a b-4 (foreigner who was in PNG a long time ago -- I find it hilarious to be a b-4 -- back in the day, that referred to people who had been in PNG before WWII), launches into reminiscence. We swap the names of people we both knew back then, laugh about the absurd (and there was plenty of that), applaud some of our contemporaries, share sadness over tragedy, and -- like all old blokes -- condemn the current generation and agree that the world has gone to the dogs since our day.

In the course of that, it transpires that a former colleague lives just down the road. My new friend is just proposing that we stroll down to say hello to him when the bus arrives. We all have to take it -- there might not be another bus for an hour or three.

I promise to return on my next visit. Lovely to see you again, Rapitok. ###

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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2011.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Lighting the morning fire; the plastic bag method


by Geoffrey Heard

Our house in the village has some early risers and some late risers. I tend to be one of the former since I don’t often stay up late gossiping, yarning and chewing betelnut with neighbors, relatives and friends. (I’m happy to gossip and yarn, but I’m not a betelnut addict.)

In addition, I’m leading a fairly active life; you’ve no idea the energy expended staying upright in a minibus driven down the side of a mountain
by a guy with blatant Formula 1 ambitions, to say nothing of the amount of walking you can do between stores in Kokopo which is strung out along three or four kilometers of (glorious) sea front.

So I am up soon after dawn, have the first of my two daily washes (bucket and dipper) in what is supposed to be cold water (but it isn’t really cold; it comes from a 9000 liter tank which has cooled only a little overnight after the heat of the previous day), then dry and dressed (shorts, shirt, sandals), I move on to the question of the morning cup of tea.

Young Rachel or Roselyn, two of my putative great grand-daughters aged something like 12 and 10 respectively, are likely to be up, and we will confer on lighting the morning fire.

Here is how it is done (with a shuddering nod in the direction of environmental correctness). First gather up all sorts of kindling, wood chips, twigs, dry coconut leaves, and if we are really lucky, a segment or two of dry coconut husk (detritus from the evening meal when a coconut would have been husked and scraped out for extraction of the “cream” for cooking -- but usually the evening cook has already used this husk for his or her fire).

Ignore any newspaper lying around (we have that too, a couple of people in the house are avid newspaper readers). This is the wet tropics, that means high humidity even when it is sunny and dry, and that, in turn, means something as absorbent as newsprint is not really dry after a night on the cook house bench. The cook house (or as we call it, haus kuk) has a roof but apart from that, is open to the environment, including having no formal floor to differentiate it from the surrounding “outside”, so if the atmosphere is humid, everything in the haus kuk is too. Day-old newsprint here just tends to smoulder and die.

Next collect a couple of plastic bags. These are your fire starters. Since you can’t get out of a store without your purchase being plastic bagged, there are lots of them around even in a semi-bush village environment.

There is an important principle to grasp before you start. It took me a couple of days to wake up to it. With paper or coconut husk, you set the fire with the igniter underneath so it burns up, the plastic bag method is top down.

Assemble the kindling in the fireplace (a bunch of stones) keeping a few bits and pieces in reserve, squeeze a plastic bag into a bit of a rope, then gingerly dangling it from a stick, apply a lit match to the bottom. As the plastic burns, it melts and drips on to the kindling. Do I hear an “Ah ha!” moment? When the bags burns up near the top, you twist the stick to wrap the remaining plastic bag around it, put that on top of your beginning fire, and add the last of the kindling.

Given good luck, strong lungs to “winim” the fire when it staggers (Rachel and/or Roselyn provide these), and some usefully dry firewood (see the remarks about damp paper above; the same applies to firewood particularly the fibrous logs from coconut palms), you are now on the way to the morning cuppa and a hot breakfast!

PS: I’m no fan of lighting fires with plastic bags, but it’s now ubiquitous in PNG -- I’ve seen it used by a top public servant to light an official entertainment barbecue. I can’t stop it -- nobody can in this intensive recycling community short of banning plastic bags altogether -- but at least I’ve alerted my people to its environmental impact and in particular, persuaded the kids that breathing plastic smoke is a really, really bad idea. ###

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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2010.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Aibika to the rescue as we suffer kid-stress in paradise

by Geoffrey Heard

It’s a stressful time in paradise -- it is school holiday time and packs of kids are roaming around, playing vigorous games, hooting and laughing, running, chasing, bluffing, arguing, resolving disputes by shouting louder and occasionally delivering a smack over the ear, and paying no attention to parental cries for merciful quiet.

Our usual quota of anything from five to a dozen ankle biters and above (depends on how many related houses you include in the count and the time of day) has been supplemented by the arrival of a daughter of the house with three of her own plus one of her brother’s children.

The increase of the four visiting kids attracted the attention of every child for several hundred meters around so that we had a whole tribe (in reality, a clan) racing around in one giant pack for a day. Then they were alternatively arguing and playing in a number of lesser giant packs for another day, and finally thinning out on the third day as interest waned, all the kids had got up to date on the news since they were all together last time, parents demanded their children stay at home long enough to complete family tasks, and everyone shook down into comfortable smaller groups.

But every now and again, they coalesce and the chaos and cacophony break out again!

It was quite funny watching normally “cope with anything” parents and grandparents fraying at the edges and suddenly finding they had urgent errands to run in town which demanded that they instantly flee on the nearest minibus to return a couple of hours later looking virtuous, errand apparently completed satisfactorily. And so it was -- they had achieved their goal, a break from the kid cacophony and frenetic activity.

Note the use of “was” in “it was quite funny”. I was rolling along quite nicely in all this when what amounted to a giant wave of noise and mad activity engulfed me just before lunch today. Mercifully, a minibus with a spare seat appeared within minutes to whisk me away to do my urgent business in town. The escape was worth ten times the asking price of K2.00 (80¢).

Right now, the sun is setting and the sky is on fire over Kerevat and the Bainings mountains.

And a level of peace has descended.

The soccer game in our front yard has ended although the bigger kids have moved across the road and joined the touch footy game there (they have a rugby ball on that side) as it runs down to its inevitable end in the deepening dusk.

Our littlelies are out the back undergoing the serial social bathing experience -- they stand on the spare part of the tank stand and are vigorously doused and washed down by the nearest mother or aunt (some aunts are not much older than the tots they are bathing) armed with a bucket of cold water and a can for throwing it over them. Resistance is useless; there are some pretty firm hands around here and the kids know that their mothers are never going to gainsay another mother or an aunt. They’re the sisterhood! Anyway, the water’s not really cold -- this is the tropics! It’s just not hot.

In the haus kuk (cook house), mother and grandmother, Roselyn, is producing mouthwatering odours as she prepares dinner for about 15 (she actually does count them when serving up). The rice is ready, and she is now working on the stew of greens, salted fish and coconut.

I’m very familiar with the underpinnings of this village diet but to my surprise, I’m finding I’m noticing the details of it more than I have before.

I always knew greens played a important part in the diet, but only recently have I noticed how big a part in terms of volume, variety and flavor. Your average Tolai eats a lot of greens. And not just just big bunches of leaves, but a huge variety. Again, it was something I knew intellectually, but after living for decades in Australia and becoming re-accustomed to the focus on just a few species in our supermarkets and fruiterers, I had forgotten how rich and diverse the Tolais’ diet is.

Tolais must regularly eat 100 or more varieties of greens, some of which they grow in gardens and some of which grow wild to be harvested when they see it. The most prized of the greens seems to be the leaves of the aibika, a stalky plant with a spinach-like taste and consistency.

If you’re traveling from Rabaul to Port Moresby and want to guarantee your welcome there, you visit the market on the way to the airport and for about K2 (80¢) buy two big bunches of aibika, enough to feed six or seven people. Yum, yum! (You’ll also be asked for betelnut, buai, but that’s anther story!)

I’ve seen four (or is it more?) kinds of leaves going into the mix tonight. Aibika is there, also pumpkin and/or choko tips, two more kinds of leaves I don’t recognize and perhaps two or three more (or they might be more or less mature leaves of the same). Whatever, cooked with coconut and with the salted (but not salt) tuna added (it might work out wt 20 gms per person), it will be delicious and very nourishing.

After dinner, I’ll have a cup of tea while we sit around talking for a bit, then I’ll retire to bed to repair the stress of the day with some well-earned shut eye.

Ah! There’s the call for dinner now. ###


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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2010.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

In a bind over Bundy … and the world economic system

by Geoffrey Heard

It's late morning, Tuesday, 21 June 2011, and I'm in the duty-free store (really the GST-free store these days) at the Brisbane airport buying rum for the elite of Port Moresby's rum and coke drinkers. I've been instructed by email and text that two liters (the PNG duty free limit) of rum is required and the brand is the Australian-made Bundaberg rum. These are dedicated Bundy 'n' coke drinkers.

But as I survey the shelves, I am startled to find that the formerly expensive and upmarket Bacardi (white) rum is a couple of bucks a bottle cheaper than the formerly el cheapo Australian-made Bundy. Here's a revelation -- with the Australian dollar having taken off to a degree (and other former leaders like the USD and Euro having gone south somewhat), and the removal of tariffs on imported liquor, the price differential between domestic and imported has been turned on its head.

So with a guilty apology to Australian-made, I decide to do my Port Moresby friends a favor -- I'll take them upmarket Caribbean sunshine.

When I proudly unleash a liter bottle of Bacardi in Port Moresby that evening I'm repaid for my thoughtfulness by horrified cries of "What? We said Bundy! That stuff's just water!". When I reveal that I have grossly departed from the script and bought Frangelico instead of a second liter of rum, my name is Mud with a capital "M"!

Tough -- we're all having dinner and I'm rounding out mine with ice cream and Frangelico like I had at my farewell dinner (except that I'll be pouring the Frangelico out of the bottle, not out of a shot glass!). The team can take it or leave it. I might be a bit of a soft touch in some respects, but in regard to desserts (and rum and coke which I regard as a last resort drink), I can be as tough as nails.

Making that purchase really hammered home a point, though; one which I have been acutely aware of for some time in my own tiny business. I used to sell Australian-made books in the USA. At that time, the Australian dollar was ranging around 70 US cents. At one point, it got as low as about 55 US cents. It was quite ridiculous, of course -- at the time, Australia had as useful an economy as most others and certainly one as useful or better than America's which was already mired in up-to-the-nostrils debt with a whole lot of stuff going on -- like the idiotic invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq that were clearly out of control before they began -- that were adding staggering amounts to US debt hourly.

The Australian dollar's climb coincided with a post office clamp down on special rates for overseas mail (mail is the only viable carrier for micro-business products), and suddenly, every book I shipped was making a loss! Raising prices wasn't an option; Americans are used to certain price points and won't be moved from them.

I had to switch to printing in the United States -- leaving me to ponder what to do with a roomful of brand new books which now weren't salable (I still have them).

So I was fully aware of what the currency movements had done to price relationships, but striking them so vividly contrasted in the duty-free really hammered home the point.

Tough for many Australian businesses

The ridiculous movements in the currency market make it very, very tough for a lot of Australian industries. And then, of course, the ones that are making out like bandits, the mining industry, don't want to pay appropriate taxes on gigantic windfall profits most of which are going overseas to people who have more money than they could possibly poke a stick at in a month of Sundays.

The trick in all this is the financial system constructed by the monied elite for the benefit of the monied elite. At the beginning of modern democracy, the monied elite had everything their way -- democracy slowly rolled back some of that those privileges to some degree, but money always ruled.

Now big money is bigger than ever -- a handful of modern corporations have enormous transnational power supported by the most powerful governments in the world; the USA is the prime example but it's not alone, Australia runs along like its little lapdog -- and it is busy rolling back democracy and turning relatively egalitarian societies like Australia into inequitable, unjust, undemocratic societies which are merely enormous money pumps that feed the money bags' greed. The rich are getting richer, a (very) few of the middle class are getting richer, most of the middle are getting poorer, and the poor are getting even poorer.

The process is complex and includes many subtle steps, but the underlying trick is simple. You set up a scenario where people are restricted in their movement around the globe -- nearly everyone in the world is actually a prisoner in the country they were born in, both physically and mentally -- while allowing money and goods unrestricted movement.

Thus, people are not free to move from place to place to take advantage of the best wages, for example, while capital is free to move from place to place to take advantage of the worst wages, and their goods are free to move anywhere. Then they declare "globalization" to be the great savior of the world's economic system and "protection" at national borders
(against goods and money only, naturally) to be anathema, old fashioned, unfair, and nasty, and they're away towards riches even further beyond the ordinary person's imagining and to gathering even more power to make the trick even more effective.

Of course, it is all a Ponzi scheme and must collapse sooner or later, but when it does collapse, we all know who will have the most comfortable ride -- the super rich. When money becomes essentially valueless, it pays to have sh*tloads of it.

When everyone's down and they've scraped up all the money and valuables left lyng around by the crash, they'll start all over again building another huge pyramid.

The "poor" who have kept a grip on their own land like the majority of people in Papua New Guinea will do next best because they can still live off their land -- in large part, they are outside the world economy. The middle and lower classes in the developed countries will do badly because they are bound up in the money machine, are in debt to the money machine, and will have to take what pittance they are given. And, of course, the truly dispossessed, the very, very poor of areas like Sudan, Eritrea and so on, will do worst of all as has been demonstrated in depressions and recessions throughout history.

I reflect on the period in which I grew up and have through in (or in touch with) Australia -- the latter part of the 1940s, the 1950s, 1960s, even into the 1970s and 1980s. In many respects this was the democratic dream time, the high tide of democracy in both in Australia and overseas.

Today, we are participating in its end.

Of course, democracy always had its dark underbelly -- the wars against the "evils of communism" and now "terrorism" (the latter so clearly an excuse for ramping up control of frightened populations), the exploitation of the weak and poor both at home and overseas --particularly overseas, the pretense of self-determination and the granting of independence to colonies (economic colonialism is so much more profitable), and so on and so forth.

Of course, while we know all this, fighting back is difficult. The vast majority of Australians (and Americans, and Brits, and French, and Germans, and Canadians and whoever!) all know that the solution is to clamp controls on capital and globalism. But much as we talk and protest, politicians of the major parties, the politicians in control, flatly refuse to act for the good of the people -- the good of those they are supposed to be representing.

They are corrupt. Whether they take cash on the barrelhead or under the table or just accept promises of support so they can stay in power (or in the case of the enormously rich mining companies, promises of no public opposition to them), they are corrupt. They promise to represent the people, to work for the good of the people, but they do not.

They know damned well that if they moved to do what people want and fix the economy so it serves the people rather than enslaving them in the service of a tiny elite, their money masters would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

They are so afraid or their palms are so well greased -- or both -- that they stand up in public and tell barefaced lies. They sign Australia up to trade agreements that take decisions on trade out of our hands, clearly advantage our trade competitors, are unfair to our neighbors, and put disputes about trade rules into secret courts. Having signed up Australia in the full knowledge of what they are doing, they then feign looks of doleful helplessness as though it all happened by accident and not design!

I really applaud the Icelanders who broke out of the thrall of these poisonous, anti-democratic, anti-people schemes and refused to drive themselves into penury to pay off debts incurred by foreign bankers under cover of their name.

We need more of that. We need to do that in Australia.

In the meantime while we Australians are getting up the courage to act in accordance with our national myth (rugged bushmen, individualists -- in fact we are among the most urbanized societies in the world and the most politically apathetic and naive), we need to do something immediate about Bundy.

For mine, I promise to buy two bottles next time I go to Papua New Guinea. No Caribbean sunshine (get nicked, Bacardi), no Italian dessert wine, just Bundy. I swear!

I might even get a bonus by doing that -- a bit of respect from the disgruntled Moresby Bundy 'n' coke team. ###

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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2011.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

On the road again back to Papua New Guinea for another visit

By Geoffrey Heard

Evening, Saturday, 18 June 2011

It’s not long after eight on a chilly winter's Saturday night in Melbourne as I start writing, but I am as snug as a bug in a rug in Car D of the XPT train as it glides through the suburbs heading north. To farewell me on my trip, my daughter and I have just indulged (and that is the only word) in a delicious three course dinner at The Vault CafĂ©, Batman's Hill* on Collins hotel (http://www.batmanshill.com.a
u/), strolled (fairly) leisurely across Spencer Street to the pretentiously named Southern Cross Station, and boarded the XPT.

Three minutes later, with a single blip of its horn and a short announcement, the XPT was quietly accelerating out of the station and beginning the 1000 kilometer journey to Sydney where it’s due to deposit me into the heart of the city at 6.30am.


I say three minutes later, and it was literally that. Actually, I almost missed the train -- that would have been a hoot! What with the mixed dips being just plain beautiful, the Malaysian style curry exceptional, the rich vanilla ice cream with a shot each of Frangelico liqueur and black, black coffee sublime, and the wine excellent, we were both feeling pretty relaxed and happy with life until we were jolted into action by the big clock on The Age building opposite reminded us urgently of the time! Thanks Age!

And if the bill for the two of us was within a couple of bucks of my (Seniors card discounted) train fare to Brisbane, that’s neither here nor there -- it was better than reasonable for the quality of the food, wine and surroundings, I am replete, I’m on the road to Papua New Guinea again, and I’m happy, happy, happy.

Let me explain. I'm in the throes of selling my house in Melbourne in pursuit of a more relaxed lifestyle. I had expected the sale to be done and dusted in March so I could escape tropics-ward before the first chill of winter, but the market is trending down and the demand for old places on a biggish block like mine is falling off.

I've been working away, as one does, making the place more presentable and, as one also does when thwarted, moping a bit. Then three weeks ago I awoke on a frozen Melbourne morning to the realization that my continuing presence was doing little or nothing for the house sale and that if I booked immediately I would be in time -- just -- to get Air Niugini's economical Wantok fares to Rabaul for the annual Warwagira and National Mask Festivals.

I bounced out of bed and onto the Air Niugini site (http://www.airniugini.com.pg) so fast I nearly spilled my first cup of tea of the day which I made in passing from the kettle boiling on the gas heater (yes, really).

I saw the very first Warwagira Festival way back in the 1970s but have not seen another since so was eager to see it again. I had not seen the National Mask Festival but it had attracted favorable reviews from everyone I know and from strangers who’ve paid full price to get there, so I was right into getting among that too.

Having set the parameters with the Air Niugini bookings, it was a question of "what next"? Air Niugini takes off from Brisbane and I was about 2000 kilometers south of that in Melbourne. Fly or …? Ah, forget it! I would train it, I decided, the XPT overnight from Melbourne to Sydney (http://www.countrylink.info/planning_your_trip), one night in Sydney at Glenferrie Lodge, Kirribilli (http://www.glenferrielodge.com/), then XPT again overnight from Sydney to Brisbane.

That timetable would give me the chance to see and photograph a few things in both cities before I moved onto the next leg of my journey. And it would save me from one of those unnecessarily stress-inducing embarkations which make air travel today such an unpleasant experience.

Call me old fashioned, reactionary, even Luddite, but having spent most of my adult life traveling by road or air, I am returning to the favored transport of my youth. I train it all over the place around Melbourne; it's faster and more economical than driving a car a lot of the time. For long distance, it's actually pretty stunning to realize the great value you get out of trains. For the cost of the fare, you get travel and accommodation if you overnight; travel and sightseeing if you do daylight trips!

And as I wrote at the beginning of this piece, departure is relaxed and happy. With my ticket printed out from the internet in my pocket, including seat allocation, I walked on to the platform (no ticket check), and onto the train (no ticket check apart from directions to my carriage) literally three minutes before departure (they do ask you to be there 10 minutes prior but I was greeted with a smile), stowed my suitcase in the main luggage rack at the end of the carriage, then found my seat and sat down. A couple of minutes later, the train started.

As I was writing this, half an hour or so into the journey and 50 kms up the track, a lady came around and checked our tickets.

So easy. No ridiculous security checks, beeping screens, tough looking characters investigating your underwear. No two hour queues and grossly overpriced coffee and cakes once you’re a captive in the departure lounge. And no gouging airport parking fees either -- you depart and arrive in the middle of the city, the hub of the public transport system.

And all in a relaxed manner and in generally congenial company! I'll admit my preference for the economy car and its aircraft type seats is not going to be everyone's favorite (I work alone most of the time so it's a treat for me to be among people) but if you wish, there are upmarket alternatives at very reasonable rates.


If you haven't tried it recently, give it a go!

But back to the point of it all, Papua New Guinea. I can't wait to get there again. Reading my earlier posts, you might think I’m more than slightly besotted with the place, and you might be right. I am. I love it. Not uncritically, I think I've made that plain, but I love to be there. It feels like something is happening. It feels alive -- and so do I when I’m in it.
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For readers not familiar with Australian history; no, not named after the comic book character, but after an English chap who famously said of the then swamp: "This is the place for a village", did the usual dirty deal with the indigenous inhabitants, and founded Melbourne, naming it after an English Viscount whose wife had an affair with the poet, Byron.

What a delightful connection!

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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2011.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Someone to watch over me

by Geoffrey Heard

Let's be quite clear -- Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea's capital, is a tough town. In fact, it's a hot, dirty, tough town.

HOT: most of the time it is pretty hot and dry, and right now it is particularly hot and humid -- this being the doldrums, the few weeks between the dry season with its cooling laurabada (south-east trade wind) and the lahara (the north-west monsoon) with its cooling rains. Particularly hot, by the way, means only a couple of degrees more than its usual 30 celsius -- that couple of degrees really makes a difference.

I can remember decades ago when I was about to make perhaps the silliest decision of a life liberally sprinkled with silly decisions, looking out the window as the sun rose on yet another Port Moresby doldrums morning and saying out loud (with expletives deleted): "One more sunny day and I am going to go crazy!"

Then I took off for Australia. Just plain silly. It took decades for me to get back.

DIRTY: the rubbish in the streets is amazing. No busy street sweeping machines here, although now and again, you see men and women equipped with spades, shovels, brooms, and wheelbarrows cleaning up a length of street or drain or whatever and doing a darned good job. There's also the "voluntary" rubbish collection -- people collecting bottles of various descriptions for private recycling, for example.

But every day there seems to be a new accumulation of plastic bags, bits of cardboard, paper, drink bottles, cans, mango skins and stones, betelnut husks, and whatever rubbish, casually discarded to clutter the footpaths, roads, shoulders and gutters, and float around in the wind along with the dust, and petrol and diesel fumes from the racing minibuses, trucks, and ubiquitous SUVs (of the better off travelling in airconditioned comfort with the doors locked -- see "Tough" below).

And then there's the red splash of betelnut juice spat everywhere, defacing walls, paths, roads, everything up to a height of a metre or so. Everyone, it seems, is chewing betelnut and spitting the crimson liquid, it is even served after lunch in some pretty classy restaurants. Of course, no-one spits in the restaurants (they swallow), but nearly everyone feels free to spit outside.

It makes the few attempts at what one might call "proper graffiti" appear pathetically ineffectual in terms of defacing anything.

At times, Port Moresby looks like one mighty midden. It would surprise most visitors and even many foreign residents of this town to see that the same people who litter in the streets generally live in neat and tidy villages. In the village, they still litter, but they sweep around their houses first thing in the morning and often again in the afternoon. That's even true of squatter settlements (generally hidden from the eyes of the better fixed) within Moresby itself.

TOUGH: I've talked about this before. There's lots of street crime in Port Moresby, simple theft like pocket picking or purse snatching, but also armed hold-ups, and violence. There is invasive crime -- armed hold-ups (characterised locally as "a hands-up") of businesses, householders, and car drivers (hence the closed windows and locked doors of the SUVs), and the like. Every business house and home of any consequence has its security grilles, secure entrance, and fence, a barred or mesh construction a couple of metres high, often topped with razor wire. Attack dogs snarl behind the fences; uniformed security guards are ubiquitous ("security" might be Port Moresby's biggest industry).

You don't need to look twice to see where this crime comes from. Everywhere is the evidence of people struggling to make a tiny living. While most of Papua New Guinea is not in what you might call "starvation poverty" because people still own their own land traditionally, in Port Moresby people really do struggle to eat because it is hard, dry and they are a long way from home. They are selling pretty much anything on the streets to put a feed in their belly. Or committing crimes. Or both.

And that brings us to the title of this piece. Most days, Port Moresby is pretty busy, but on Saturdays, when most working people have the day off and do their shopping and socializing, it is a seething mass of humanity, no more so that in the retail area known as Boroko which is five minutes walk from where I am staying.

So last Saturday morning, having put in several solid hours writing, I strolled down to Boroko in mid-morning to visit the bank for a withdrawal and to do a little shopping.

I was stripped to the essentials for a tough town; no bag to be snatched, shorts with pockets fastened by velcro, a nearly empty wallet with just one credit card in it, and the awareness that as a white guy I am a target for street crime -- I am automatically labelled "rich" even though this label is laughably distant from reality. But when you have nothing.... Besides, all those Papua New Guineans who are far richer than me are in SUVs with the windows up and the doors locked.

Jenny, the housekeeper where I am staying, was concerned but was tied up with her work or she would have accompanied me. She uttered a warning to be careful because it was Saturday. My first watcher.

The second appeared as I stepped off the pedestrian overpass that took me across the main road into Boroko proper. I had noticed a youth peel off from a group at the other side of the overpass and follow me across; I had varied my pace, shifted from side to side to put others between us, and used the excuse of people coming the other way to walk somewhat crabwise so I could keep an eye on him. Now a biggish, oldish bloke hove to beside me. "Better watch your back, my friend," he said. "That young fellow looked as though he was up to something, so I kept just behind him ready to give him one if he made a move." My second watcher. I thanked him sincerely.

I made a couple of purchases with a credit card at a jewellers, then headed off down the street for the bank. I should have had a small bag with a strap over my shoulder and held under my arm. As it was, I had a couple of valuable small items stuffed into what had become a rather over-full pocket. Not the best way.

At the bank, a couple of the ATMs weren't working, so the security guard looked pretty busy managing a fair sized queue. Not too busy, it turned out. When I finally got to make my transaction 15 minutes later, the guard stepped in front of me as I left. "Better take a taxi, sir. Four men followed you here and they are waiting outside ." My third watcher. I marvelled that he had been able to keep an eye on the street while he was managing the queue and entry to the ATM booth. More thanks -- I walked straight out and jumped into a passing taxi.

Later that day, as I was extracting 50 toea (20 cents) from my pocket to pay the fare for a minibus ride to a hotel where I could access the internet, I dropped 10 toea on the seat. A fellow passenger, obviously of humble means, noticed my loss, picked up the coin and handed it to me. My fourth watcher.

Nasty things happen in this town, really nasty things, but when you get perfect strangers helping you in the street, it feels pretty nice.

THE KICKER

O. Henry, famous for the kickers he dreamed up for his short stories, would have loved this.

When I was in the jewellery store, a little old lady, very poorly dressed, slapped down about K1500 ($600) to buy a lovely little gold mask ornament. When I got to the bank, she was already there, a couple ahead of me in the queue, wearing the mask on a gold chain around her neck. She withdrew several hundred kina then walked away through the crowd unremarked and unnoticed by the thieves watching me.

The damned ATM rejected my card so I actually left the bank with just enough cash in my pocket to pay the taxi driver -- not even enough to tip the eagle-eyed security guard.

Someone should have told those thieves the first rule of life: don't judge a book by its cover! ###


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This material is copyright © Geoffrey Carrascalao Heard 2010.

The opinions and comments in this article are his own.